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Psychic Skills, Positive Experience # 24

February 9, 2013

I think people who have had abusive childhood have a 6th sense, almost psychic skills. I think they develop these abilities as a way to cope and survive crazy parents or crazy situations as children. Being able to read cues, anticipate behavior and observe situations carefully are very important skills to have when dealing with abusive people.

I have some weird abilities that I find interesting. For starters, I feel the emotions of other people. I can’t read their minds. I don’t know what they are thinking but I know what people are feeling. This sounds like a nice skill, but it really isn’t. It can be handy in some situations and in some professions, but for me it was a problem for a while. I have learned to block it or to get out of it now, but for years, it was not so cool. I got to the point I avoided going around crowds. I didn’t want to go to the mall or to a restaurant or anywhere because of the emotions that I picked up from other people. I might get very depressed and not know where that feeling came from or what caused it. I might get very annoyed and not understand that feeling. Mostly I picked up strong, unpleasant feelings. I thought these feelings were mine so they would shake me up and I would feel the feelings intensely. Eventually I learned to ask myself if the feeling I was having was my feeling or someone else’s feeling. If it was my feeling, it would stay. If it wasn’t it would pass immediately after questioning myself about what I was feeling.

If you are reading my blog, the chances are quite strong that you may have this ability too. Check it out. If you have a strong emotion come over you, question yourself about that emotion. I have found that the mood I have when I wake is the baseline. If my mood varies too much from the baseline, I question if I am picking up someone else’s stuff.

I also have some weird ability to smell. I know that sounds strange. I don’t have a unusual ability to smell physically. It is psychic smell. For example, I smell alcohol when I am talking to someone on the phone who is drinking. I can tell when something in my world is going to shift by the scent in the air and by the sound of the wind. I know it sounds stupid or psychotic but it is true. I smell change. I hear change. Just the way the wind sounds, I know when someone close to me has died. The wind always makes a certain sound when someone passes. One night sitting in the living room watching television with my husband, I told him my Aunt had just died. He thought I was nuts. There was no way for me to know this. The phone call came the next day that my Aunt had died the previous evening. I just know these things. I don’t know how I know.

I used to feel strongly suicidal from time to time. I decided at some point in my life that I would not act on these thoughts, but that did not keep the thoughts from hitting me from time to time. Then, something happened that changed my whole perspective on suicide that completely eliminated suicidal thoughts from my life. I got a call from an old friend of mine. That was back in the day before I cleared out my life of abusive people who pretended to be friends. This friend, who really was not friend, called and we talked for a long time. For some reason, after that call, I was in terrible shape. I crawled into a ball on my bed crying and feeling so awful. All I wanted to do was kill myself. It was a battle going on inside myself. It was very destructive. Thank God for logic and reason. I pulled myself out of the emotion and started to think. Where did this suicidal feeling come from? When did it start? Why did it start?

You guessed it. The feeling started after talking with this friend. I was fine before she called. There was no logical reason for me to feel suicidal after talking with her. Something had brought on this intense desire to do away with myself. I believe this friend was not my friend at all. I was used to her and had not really evaluated her behavior. She was an abusive person. She was mean. I think she was jealous of me. She was a bit like my Mother. Probably that is why I was her friend: She was familiar to me. The minute I got clear on her, the suicidal thoughts passed away. She is no longer in my life. I never thought of her as a friend after that call. She did not say anything to bring this on. It was just the feeling of suicide that knocked me flat after talking with her.

Since then, every time I have a suicidal thought hit me, I don’t accept it as mine. I start thinking about who hates me or who wants me dead. The suicidal thoughts pass very quickly when I do this and I always do this now. People have energy. Anger and hatred have power. I think mostly these suicidal feelings that have hit me have been from my Mother. I felt suicidal often as a kid. Usually when suicidal feelings hit me now, my Mother is mad at me for one reason or another.

Old age has its perks. Patterns are discovered. Psychic skills…or whatever these abilities are…. are understood and appreciated with time.

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