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A Happy Marriage…..

February 14, 2013

My husband and I are very different people. He is a morning person. I am a night owl. He likes seafood. I like steak. He likes nice clothes. I like jeans. He is an artist. I am….well, I am not an artist. I appreciate art. Our minds work very differently.

I don’t know how or why I am so fortunate. Earlier today, something became very clear to me. I rather thought of all the men I dated, all of my family, all of my friends and most of my acquaintances throughout my life….in a flash…and I realized only a few really loved me or love me. I can count them on one hand. My husband loves me. That I know. I love him. That I know. I don’t know why that came clear to me today. What I realized from that is that I am very, very fortunate, blessed in fact. How many people are really married to someone they love and who love them? How many people really have a lot of love in their life?

My husband’s love healed my life. I know, I know, that is so corny. I hate emotional stuff but it is true. I believe the reason I was able to really move past the pain of an abusive Mother and abusive relationships was because I found love. It gave me a place where I belong. It gives me a reason to live. It gives me a reason to want to live. My life is not about just existing and doing my duty any longer. It is about being glad to be alive and wanting to be a part of this world for a long time.

I say all of this and it is true, but it is also true that I am not really clear what love is. This love stuff is so confusing. With my husband, I say I love him but I am not sure that is exactly the right word. I do love him, but there is something bigger and better than that going on … I like my husband. Liking is way more important. I just like my husband. I like him a lot. I like him better than anyone. I like him so much I would take a bullet for him or jump in front of a bus to save him. That is a lot of like. Maybe that is love. Like is a lot easier to understand than love.

I suspect that is where most of us have made our big mistakes in relationships. We search for love and don’t really know what that is. We ignore like and that is the most important thing.

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