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Is it abuse or the devil?

August 23, 2013

I received some comments today to some of my blog posts that got me thinking. I decided to post a response I left for one comment. It was a great comment suggesting perhaps my Mother was abused and that is why she became abusive.

Hi: It is pretty incredible isn’t it? What kind of Mother calls her daughter a little idiot as a nickname? I am familiar with Freud and I understand projection and agree that is what is going on with her, at least to some extent. I don’t agree with the idea that she was abused. I think she made a decision to be an instrument for evil. I think it came more from being spoiled than abused. Greed, selfishness and jealousy seem to be the guiding forces in her behavior. My aunts are not warm and fuzzy people but they are like Mother Teresa compared to my Mom. My Grandfather has been described by all who knew him as a very gentle, kind man. My Grandmother was a battleaxe but there was never any indication from anyone that she was cruel to her children. She wasn’t so warm, but not cruel. In her old age, she was a gentle, easy person …at least that is what I experienced first hand.

I have tried to find some reason to explain and perhaps even justify my Mother’s behavior. I might have some compassion or at least some understanding of her if I thought she had been abused or mistreated. There is no indication of that and I have checked. I personally have this belief that she made some sort of deal, perhaps stupidly or even accidentally, with the dark side. I honestly believe there is some evil entity that lives within her or at least works through her. I am scared of my Mother. It is not exactly my Mother I am afraid of…it is some horrible force in her. She can call me names and say nasty things, but to feel murderous rage and hatred from her is unnerving. To look in her eyes and see reptilian eyes that are filled with hate…I can’t describe it. It is horrifying. It is like being in the presence of a demon dressed up in a human disguise. I do not say that lightly. I don’t exactly think I have been emotionally abused. I think I grew up around the presence of evil.

  1. gothrules permalink

    Hello again. Thank you for answering my comment, as inaccurate as it was. The description of reptilian eyes chills me. You don’t need to say more than that. I can almost feel that horrible look through your blog. I agree that there is such a thing as the personification of evil in the world. At least we know this much: your mother will return to hell, from whence she came, after her sinful work with you is finally over. Why she chose you as a scapegoat God only knows. But there will be retribution. Make no mistake about that.

  2. Keke permalink

    I so want to give you a gigantic comforting hug! Your mother sounds like quite a piece of work and to say I felt angry reading about her treatment of you would be a vast understatement. I’ve had plenty of out of body experiences since the age of 12, I’m 32 now, and I’ve seen all kind of evil things on that side and this one to definitely know that demons and all sorts of evil entities exist. Your mother sure as hell seems like something heartless and dark is attached to her soul. Of course, these entities only attach themselves to people that are already somewhat negative and mean spirited to begin with. That’s why when I encounter such entities I never have any fear of them messing with me. They hate my spirit and the positive love and energy I try to spread to others. Please keep your distance from your mother my dear. Nothing good will ever come from being in her presence. The ecil inside of her hates you the most because of your kind loving spirit. If I lived near you I would put the fear of hell in that woman. God bless you sweetie!

  3. Mabel permalink

    My dear, I’m from Asia and I’ve a very similar mother.
    I tried to put my emotions for her aside now that I’ve grown up, but she would have the thick face to blame me for not reciprocating . Truth is, I was so neglected as a girl both physically, materially and mentally that I’ve permanent scoliosis which could have been corrected in childhood if she cared enough to step in and help.
    I saw her throwing things at my dad and left us when I was 3yo. Since then, I developed severe Avoidant Personality Disorder. I am not able to feel intimacy and relate to people and that has a bad bad impact on my career development.
    If she was not prepared to mother children, she should not have given births to us. Because of this, I’m not able to let myself have kids. It’s too much a responsibility.
    Cannot imagine there are so many people out there that have moms like that. I could not even find words to describe them…

    • Hi: Thank you for writing. It made me really sad to read about your Mother. I am sorry you went through such horrible abuse and neglect.

      It sounds like she has left invisible scars that have hurt you and have impacted your life, such as trouble with intimacy. I think love is the answer for us. Don’t let your Mother block love, friendship and joy from your life. My greatest revenge against my Mother is to be as happy and as successful as I can possibly be. I have a lot of the same issues you described. It is a challenge but I try to push through my fears because I refuse to let my Mother rob me of having a happy life. Our Mothers have hurt us enough. May God Bless you lots and lots.

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